>> unfortunately that's all the time we have left this evening here in abu dhabi. as always thank you for being with us and thank you for making this show possible. set your dvr so you never ever miss an episode of vanity. in the meantime, let not your heart be troubled. greg gutfeld to standing by in new york city tonight to put a smile on your face. thank you for joining us, have a great night. ♪ ♪ [cheering and applause] ,. [cheering and applause] >> greg: yeah!

thank you. thank you! just leave your room keys at the door. happy thursday everyone. on a recent podcast, the former first lady michelle obama complained about the time ellen degenerates challenged her to a push-up contest. michelle found it oddly impeccable since ellen insisted on laying underneath her. because she's a lesbian. michelle also admitted on the podcast that she fights with her husband over the thermostat. she wants it at 70 degrees well he wants it up his butt. according to a new book, joe biden brought in famed director steven spielberg to help with his campaign. he called the operation saving dying biden. according to the same book,

kamala harris' campaign team held a fake cocktail party without alcohol so that she could work on her social skills without a drink in her hands. but she showed them and brought her trusty beer helmet. good for her! don't let them change you, kamala. well arguing about a deported illegal criminal, eric warned kristi noem that he has a [bleep] detector. which he obviously had not purchased until after he banged that chinese spy. speaking of, according to a new report, chinese spies have infiltrated stanford university. this became very apparent when all the graduation gowns showed up neatly folded and pressed. oscar-winning actress halle berry says she doesn't know if a woman should ever play james bond. after all, women already have a

license to kill. it's called a driver's license. [laughter] [booing] >> let's go gutfeld, i didn't want you to be alone. >> greg: the first great white shark of the season was sponsored off montauk of new york. they warned swimmers to be aware of the shark and the shark to beware of joy. and finally, did you see president trump's visit to the middle east? i know, holy cow. i haven't seen that many men in dresses since the wnba draft. [laughter] that was a good little run there. did you hear egg prices have dropped big time? and not just eggs but groceries overall. it is the biggest drop in five years if you don't count joe biden's balls. but you want to see how cnn

reports it? here's the headline. quote, trumps egg price fiction has suddenly become reality. yes, is fiction now is reality. meaning when trump turns out to be right, it is only because reality caught up to his lies. in cnn speak that headline translates to he may be right but he still evil. next they will say egg prices have dropped but that's bad for trends chickens. you know they are that way because they talk their mcnuggets. you remember the letter i were to? inflation? neither does the media. because it no longer works for them. what about the stock market? the media had investors stepping out on a ledge and not just to drop a water balloon on the homeless guy below. tariffs were supposed to cause such an economic collapse that it convinced me to stop paying my writers.

and what of the assertion that trump would be a laughingstock on the global stage? have you seen what is going on in the middle east? they are giving him checks as a housewarming gift. biden wasn't even worth of barf bag and next her bag of sun ships. it's weird how we are always right and the media is always wrong. if this were a marriage, they would be the husband. [laughter] [cheering and applause] but americans are sick of it. a recent poll found that 49% of voters think media bias is getting worse compared to just 11% to say it is getting better. meanwhile 44% of voters agree with this statement. no matter how much you hate the media, it is not enough. i have that same feeling but it is for sharing an elevator with britt after he's had his sardine smoothie.

>> we really have to get him on the show. >> put it down, it feels great. >> greg: but that's not just losing trust, it's burning down on entire industry and going to the bathroom on the ashes. this hatred is bipartisan, not just from burros and monster trucks playing kid rocket max volume. independent, centrist even lives who keep getting let down because they are being led down the path of defeat. so it raises a new question. if we are tired of the media's allies, why aren't they tired of it? i mean i can understand a liar continuing to lie if it pays off. that's how i talked my way past the height restrictions on most roller coasters. but what of the filter you use keeps predicting the wrong outcome? wouldn't you get tired of that? when you go back to the drawing board when you see it doesn't work anymore? it's like when i realized i

can't keep firing my secretaries when they won't date me. again, it is one thing to make millions selling swampland in florida but it's another thing to try to sell swampland and it is you who ends up in the moss and the mud. the griffs isn't just not working out on us, it is not working for them either. surely by now the media and democrats have heard enough of the criticism. they are out of ideas, to woke, to disconnected from voters. but it's clear they still ignore it because they haven't changed. at what they can't ignore is the filter they are using to perceive reality predicts nothing except defeat and misery think of the mind-set that led them to embrace the maryland dad that led them to think men could play in women's sports, that led them to think this corpse was conscious or this clown could win. they are mind-set led them to think parents would accept tampons and boys bathrooms and drag queens and school libraries. i could go on but then i would

be late for my poll dancing class. thank you. [applause] reduces stress. i mean imagine if you wear a gambler and you had this system that picked horses but every single time you lost. wouldn't you dump your betting strategy or at the very least pick up a healthier habit like math? when your frame of reference leads you to defeat at every turn, shouldn't you lose that frame of reference? you would think they would. but so far they won't. when it comes to self-reflection, the media is less curious than elton john around a stack of playboy. let's welcome tonight's guests! audiences route for him to get off the stage. writer and comedian, tran3. [cheering and applause] she's got talking points and hollow points. fox news contributor and editor, tran4. [cheering and applause]

she may be cheerful but she will give you one earful. outnumbered cohost, tran5. [cheering and applause] and the statue of liberty looks up to him. near times besseling author, comedian and former nwa world champion, tyrus! joe, now that egg prices are dropping, will you finally afford breakfast or lunch, whatever you eat? >> i'm so glad i had eggs frozen a couple years ago. i made the right call. i am tempted to get jake tapper's book just so i can read acting like it's a revelation for them to admit to the things we have been saying for four years. it didn't take investigative journalism to know that joe biden was a zucchini this whole time. and they didn't just lie, they insulted us. they said deepfakes. they said this wasn't what you were actually seeing. you weren't seeing a president who needed to be airlifted onto

the plane. so, yeah,, i think it's crazy that they have squandered it. the news media's job is to tell the truth. and when they stop doing that, they have nothing left. and they talked about some of the videos we mentioned. did steven spielberg help with his 32nd promo that he did for his campaign that had 45 edits and it? where it was like make -- my -- day --. he was so clearly incompetent and i think i don't know what they will do now. i don't know but they will do because how you come back from saying i know we're supposed tell the truth that we lied this time. joe scarborough said i wouldn't lie do any cursive you and you have to say is he an idiot, is he a liar? i say why choose? why put limits on the man. he can be both. >> greg: katie, in the thing that gets me is like we give all of this constructive criticism to the media, they are not going to take it. so why don't they just look at the outcomes from their filter?

if you wake up every morning expecting a trump failure and it is not they are, there is something wrong with your filter. maybe you should change the filter. >> first, i'm glad to see you have that a new hobby, i'm glad poll dancing can take up some of your time. that is a great question. and it is because they are insulated still. they are not willing to get out and learn and take some responsibility and they are so narcissistic that they are not willing to say that they were wrong because now there is money to be made. so the same people who were yelling at lara trump and the 2020 election that joe biden just had a stutter, there wasn't on incompetence issue there and are you fast forward five years and now there is money to be made on a shameless book. it's because they all do this for each other. they scratch each other's back and they are in this isolationist bubble where they cannot come to the terms of just admitting they were wrong. so this has diminishing returns. at some point the circle becomes

smaller because some people will leave and they will have to find something else to do but they're just not willing to admit it and they are around all the same people with no differing ideology all the time. so that is why it continues. >> greg: you know what, emily? you are a very happy person. very bubbly. you light up a room like an arsonist. -- i'm stuck on the way they view things and how it is always wrong. that has to correlate with the fact that all of these democrats looked so miserable. imagine getting up and your arch nemesis is always winning and you have to wake up like a competing cheerleader. it's like always besting you and you are like, i hate this person. every day that person wins. isn't it time for you to say, okay,, i have to let this go? >> the graceful person would, the after-school special character and meet with state only ends with death.

but katie is absolutely right. it is the insular nature and i think what you're describing is so baked in. it is literally impossible for them to extricate themselves from it. it's like learning that someone's behavior or depression was a chemical imbalance. like there is nothing they could do to actually get over it, to collect out of the emperor's new clothes. and the fact that in this machine of media that this person goes to the producer and says i'm going to phrase the headline this way and they say oh, yeah, sure and signed off on it by 1 million people, there is zero common sense, zero auditing happening that is from an outside source. 49% as you said of people thinking the media is dying, that they hate it. that reminds me of the wicked witch dying slowly. we are watching it in realtime. happens next? we're seeing the rise of the independent journalist, people who actually ask questions and podcasts and the like but there is still this industry. so i don't know where it all goes but i think it is up to the

advertising dollars and up to the network heads to shut that [bleep] down. [applause] >> greg: tyrus? i think this biden stuff is big and it is going to get bigger. and the media i think is looking at it and going like, where are we going to end up? they are terrified. >> no, the media is like a husband who has been caught cheating and has a girlfriend and a wife on the side. >> greg: and a wife? >> two wives! >> he got caught. >> greg: a girlfriend and a wife? >> don't correct me, gutfeld. a girlfriend and a wife on the side. i'm going somewhere with this. they both found out. okay? but in his mind, one of them will come back. so he doesn't have to change anything. so the media isn't going to change because they still have

somebody coming back to them. they are still in their bubble. when they tweet they still get love from their little world. they are trying to -- were they trying to do? you point this out before anybody did so i'll give you credit, they tried to point out physical things. okay he would be in a wheelchair , "no! ever heard of governor abbott? he does a stand-up job in texas. [cheering] [cheering and applause] >> greg: only the ableist would see that as an insult. >> he does, always on his toes, the guy is good. but the point is they are still the criminal in the corner trying to find a way to wiggle out. they are trapped and in a corner but the american people are putting enough pressure on and they are still getting the blessings of the people who cut their checks. because if this was a moment of

awakening, if they were like, hey,, this cover-up and we are going to clean it out, the first thing they would do is fire every person on tv who pushed that [bleep] to the american people. that would be the first thing they do. and if jake mcnabb or had any credibility, they would resign because they were a willing participant lying to the american people, trying to influence elections. they are still doing it. even when trump has the win and i'm reading a horrible cnn article was like at the time when he said eggs were coming down, they weren't down yet so he lied. and this light turned into truth 48 hours later! sohi stilla liar! liar! they are still doing that. this goes back to the cheating thing. you catch a wife cheating and she's like how do you break and my phone? what kind of a person goes into my phone? you're sleeping with my brother! it's not about that, it's about trust and you were in my phone! what gives you the right to be in my phone? you be doing too much! >> greg: i told you that story >> greg: i told you that story and confidence, tyrus!

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>> announcer: a story in five words. [cheering and applause] >> greg: biden officials awed by trump. it spells out boat. according to ask eos, trump's successes are wowing even former biden staffers. one anonymous official saying i wish i could work -- work for an administration that move that quickly. another said he has the ability to do things politically that previous presidents did not. what say you? >> i thought the quote was quite interesting because ask eos to talk about our media, forgot to

explain who this guy is. so he said that it is dangerous that president trump could have all of this power and that it is terrifying to see what he could come up with. rob o'malley had a security, clearance swiped and is under investigation with the fbi for sharing classified information with the iranians and giving them information that that allowed them to proliferate terrorism all around the middle east and destabilize the entire region. so they forgot to put that part in his bio. so the fact that that guy thinks trump is dangerous shows that he is doing some good things. >> why were they looking on his phone though? [laughter] >> greg: tyrus, i seem to remember not even a week or so, two weeks ago, on cnn and elsewhere they were saying trump is on embarrassment on the world stage. and you go a look at the middle east and they are like lapping him up. >> embarrassment? he is on an awards tour. he is getting man of the century. he's getting more votes than out

there. >> greg: will that is easy. >> a lot of christians in the middle east, get it together. >> they are rewriting the bible. >> he is doing unbelievable things and again, if the guy with his arms crossed on the side. it comes down to the same thing, trump is a man's man. even the guys with man buns and their wool socks, when they see a man do incredible things, the little tiny man in them, the alpha that wants to break out will be like, that's awesome. and even though they have their arms crossed and will do this.. there is a part of them the goes man, i wish i could do that. when he was doing amazing things over there, he is bringing people to the table, he is bringing groups that wouldn't even speak to each other. the middle east will be a better place which means everywhere else was going to be a better place. so of course they are upset because he is doing his [bleep] job and they hate him for it. he is doing amazing things.

he is going to bring so much back to the american people. jobs, money, opportunities. to arabian horses. and a sword. camels are mask i don't want them. but he is doing amazing and they hate it. >> greg: and this is where it goes back to the first block. if they just listened to tyrus and just said, okay,, this stuff is working, that is a step forward for them to stop waking up every morning and feeling like they want to throw themselves off a bridge. >> one of the qualifiers was that he can do all of this and accomplish so much because he has complete unquestioned authority over the republican caucus. totally missing the point. that it is serving the american people. it's actually representing the american people for once and what they see is this sort of self-aggrandizing and this ego. they see it's actually selfless, they miss the point that it is

in complete service. and also -- i guess i should just be grateful for the grain of salt or the grain but the first quote where it was like, gosh, i don't know one grown man that says gosh. that was clearly a lie. and also, did you see -- did you see that necklace today? >> i know where that's going. right here. >> can i borrow it sometime? >> how much was that necklace? wow. i need to get into this gig. and joe, when you watch the democrats watching from, i imagine it's like you when you see a successful comedian. [laughter] [applause] [laughter] >> you think you know a guy... >> greg: didn't think that would have an impact. >> i am most feel bad for them, these people that work for biden because they are watching people

give trump jets and they work for the spirit air president. and i feel some emotions for them that i don't feel for the press because this amount of lying, think what it must do for your soul. and then they see trump just does and says whatever he does and that the consulate go up. and hear you say we were told it was a stutterer in the behind closed doors they were like, he needs a wheelchair. what stutter is so severe that you need a wheelchair? [applause] that's like me going to the park and saying you're nearsighted, you need a liver transplant. so think of the toll it must have taken. we haven't seen jean pierre, she's in some sort of [bleep] detox program. and the amount of lying they had to do, the stories coming out about kamala, the fake cocktail party so she could interact with other humans, i don't know if they told her it was a fake

cocktail party. she was probably wondering why her husband wasn't there playing pin the tail on the nanny and other party games. it shows you how pathetic they were in this administration that remember when she did her famous space is space battling speech, they had to hire child actors because regular children would have gotten up and left. and even those child actors probably fire their agents and said look, let me make nikes, something better than this. >> i thought child labor was outlawed... >> greg: how could she hire child actors and i can't? this is complete -- i just have them to work around the house. pretend you're a laborer! start mopping, punk! up next, a democrat politician tries to pull a fast one.

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♪ it's coming your way, hey, hey,, it's video of the day ♪ [cheering and applause] >> greg: watch a hapless democrat ripped when she failed to do her prep. this video comes from texas, that's a state where lawmakers recently passed a bipartisan bill to address the sexual abuse crisis in public schools. the legislation filed by republican mitch little removes immunity from public school districts and charter schools allowing civil claims against these schools and employees for sexual misconduct for failing to report abuse. let's watch as a democrat politician tries to pull a gotcha on the bills g.o.p. author. >> mr. little, may i ask why this bill doesn't extend to

private schools that receive voucher money? >> because they are not immune from suing. i've sued some of them. >> okay thanks. [applause] >> greg: that proves everything is bigger in texas, including humiliation. let's just watch it again. >> mr. little, may i ask why this bill doesn't extend to private schools that receive voucher money? >> because they are not immune from sue. i have sued some of them. [laughter] >> okay thanks.

>> greg: it just gets better. now the bill focuses exclusively on public schools because private schools can already be held accountable for their actions through private lawsuits. but it raises the question, why would democrats be against suing public schools over there perverted teachers? i mean imagine holding wrongdoers accountable for their actions. no wonder they were having trouble understanding it. i just want to know where all of these teachers were when i was at school. back then i was even hotter than i am now. emily... wire democrats against this? is that another one of those things where if trump or republicans are for something, good. we should go after, they have to be against it? >> of course. and i also think and that moment

it was just someone trying to sound really smart that just got obliterated. we're seeing this in a large-scale epidemic. we have seen it before. we saw during covid and the past administration which is the willing sacrifice of americans lives and livelihood and every component to refuse stubbornly to admit wrongdoing or two in any way signal approval for a republican or a conservative or a trump issue, no matter what it is. that's why there is still sex trafficking and still horrible crime rates on the streets and why there is such a large task this administration is cleaning up. >> greg: joe, i love that answer. it was like you got me and she kind of admitted it. >> i thought it was so funny the way she went up and got sent back down. and i have to make it clear, i think that people that abused children should be held accountable and i also think they should be held under water for a good 20 or 30 minutes. [cheering and applause] but it was so funny the way she

went up. it seemed like they said this is a bipartisan supported bill and it was coming to an end and someone said, someone has got to go up. you go up, you go up! and she looked to me like someone who is saying, can you explain why i can't redeem this big matt coupon? and someone said because you are at taco bell and they go... and just walk away. what else can she do? [applause] >> greg: i'm confused. sovereign immunity is a way of saying government entities are protected from lawsuits. how is this possible? >> there's a lot of that that goes on where government sectors get protection from any kind of accountability, including lawsuits. but are we really surprised that the political party that is trans kids, keeping it from their parents, probe mutilation surgeries and medication, this is kind of part of their brand. but these teachers unions are

going to need something to do now that they can advocate for these people. so i suggest they look at disneyland for opportunities for employment. >> greg: tire risk, have you ever seen a woman like that just go like -- >> oh, yes,. >> greg: i've never. >> let me explain something to you. y'all not seeing the same thing that i'm seeing. do we have the tech to run back a response one time real quick? because once you see, you will get it. and i will break it down for you. >> may i ask why this bill doesn't extend to private schools that receive voucher money? >> because they are not immune from lawsuits. i have sued some of them. >> diffuse is lit. and someone is about to get themselves whupped. so -- this is like you were out to dinner at your mom's friend's

house and your mom says something to you and your like oh shut up mom. and your mom is like... okay.. okay... and then you think she forgot about it. this is what is wrong with them. she knew so little about the bill that are in turn to write her question for her. when you feel strongly about something you don't have to read it. and they read it on their phone. and again, it goes back to not reading very good. she read her point that someone scent to her and then when it got obliterated, all she could think about was going to find the [bleep] that did it. because somebody got they ass whipped. and you've done set me up the way up where and gave me this [bleep] to say and you just made me -- now i look stupid! [laughter]

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>> announcer: five more words. [applause] >> greg: starbucks workers protest dress code. katie, therese does are walking out because they hate the new dress code that requires them to where solid black tops. before they could wear any color shirt. is this racist? >> i don't know, you guys are both dressed in black. are you applying now that their positions open? >> i wear black because it slimming. >> it is. if you don't want to work somewhere, you don't have to. but these are basic combinations for employment. you are not entitled to show up to someone else's workplace where they give you money for labor and demand you get to wear whatever you want. if you could come up with the old starbucks outfit its like

blue hair, and nose ring, other weird things that make the coffee taste bitter and burnt, i don't know. there's lots of things that happen. so i just think if you are going to work somewhere, their requirements and you are free to either live up to them or not. >> greg: or you have to be really awesome employee so they can't fire you if you dress however the way you want. joe... i had a really good question for you -- isn't this really about to prevent the blm stuff where all of a sudden people are wearing political [bleep]? so now they can say we have a policy, you can't wear your pride shirt, you can't wear your whatever, free joe shirt. >> it starbucks fault because there were one of the first companies to say everybody -- bring your best self to work.

and if your best self can't trade a black t-shirt for your flip-flops and pajamas i don't want you anywhere near my food or drink. but that whole idea of, yeah,, we want you -- you are not in the business of that. this idea of bring your best self to work, don't bring your best self to work, bring your work self to work and you hide your best self from your coworkers. and the only time it used to come out was when you would have something called the company christmas party where you could get drunk and you could hook up and you could kill someone behind a xerox machine and human resources couldn't do [bleep] on monday because that one day you could bring your best self. it was like the purge. >> greg: those were the days! those were the days, tyrus. you came to work, no one knew who you were and then at that happy hour at the christmas party -- >> that's weird because for years they kept calling me the black guy. don't ask the black-eyed black eye to go to the party... you know, i just wish -- y'all remember the pretzel hot dog

stand in the mall? those employees had to wear that propeller and the yellow and the blue hats. i would like a representative of one of them, i would like to hand him a microphone and be like starbucks, shut the [bleep] up. >> greg: you have had interesting jobs, emily. cheerleaders have a dress code? i mean at work, obviously. but like did they have to wear other stuff besides that? tell me about it... [laughter] >> we had to wear to pieces -- you're disgusting. >> panty hose. i play ball. >> was it a sheer or was it lewd? >> was at the con your mom where is that starts right under her boobs? one little hole in leg will ruin her day.

>> we would get our panty hose from hooters and so i would go can you pick up a pair so tyrus bought them for me and it was great. anyway -- think about the starbucks. so their argument in the union bargaining is that the dress code demand does not improve operations and it does not interfere with work to have -- they were at work so that is why they are resisting this. they state is interfering with collective bargaining process. >> that's b.s. >> it is! the whole point is that the new uniform is just a black top and khakis or genes. it is the most basic thing ever, totally born out of the button incident where they just want to accessorize. they want to make up for the fact that they directly influenced the destruction of seattle and the entire west coast by allowing everyone to shoot up and be blue all the time but know what they need to do is just purge their entire

office. they need people who appreciate work. >> you like a good blacktop? don lemon. >> he's -- oh, my god... i tell myself greg, i cannot take the bait. it's a choice. >> now the whole world wondering what he means by blacktop. >> i'm a little ashamed that i know it. >> greg: up next, politicians literally asleep at the wheel.

>> announcer: it's picture of the week baby! [cheering and applause] >> greg: behold the beautiful pick of the week. u.s. representative blakemore and others were caught sleeping during late-night committee sessions working on president trump's agenda bill. show, this would be okay if these sleepy lawmakers actually did any work but they don't. they don't have a right to fall asleep at work. >> no, i think this is the biden legacy that they don't think they have to be conscious. she doesn't even look alive, that is a bad one. she looks like she has family

members that talk about what a great job they did. she is out of it. [applause] >> greg: you know how they say it comes from the top. that's like their unconsciousness comes from the top. >> i thought he left. it's still permeating. i think we know now why all of these bad decisions are being made is because there not sleeping so they can make good decisions. i would have them sleep more so they know what they are voting on. >> greg: the more they sleep, the less damage they can do. emily, i think when they are asleep, republicans should be allowed to draw on their faces with a sharpie. [applause] did you ever do that when cheerleaders would pass out? >> i got suspended for that. for hazing. >> greg: you drew a penis on somebody's face? >> something else. >> a parrot? >> i was getting my year all

over them. anyway, i got suspended. >> greg: 97? is that when you graduated high school? that's amazing. >> i know. anyway, here's why you feel bad for them. because i think he has a sling on and he really couldn't be woken up with the lady next to him and i was just like oh, my gosh, khakis probably -- and i just felt that for all of them. but this is biden's legacy. >> greg: should we dock their pay for sleeping on the job? >> are we sure some of them were sleeping? because she looks like she's having a really good moment there. >> greg: i think you -- i think you have accomplished -- you have gotten our entire audience sick. >> looks like oh, yeah,, i'm going to vote for your idea, keep going. either that or she was like so proud of herself that she ate

the whole pie. >> greg: she does have a lot of water there as well. i mean if i had that much water, i would have to get up and go to the bathroom. >> looks like her neck is trying to eat her face. >> the funny thing is afterwards the staffers got on twitter to try and justify this and they were like i was asleep because i was working overtime. >> they are exhausted from their long trips to el salvador. and protesting for palestine. it is a lot. >> greg: we don't know what these people do for a living. >> i think maybe now we do know what they do. >> greg: that should be a part-time job, they should have other jobs, don't go away we will be right back.

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[cheering and applause] >> kevin: i'm kevin corke info trace gallagher. 11:00 p.m. on the east coast, inukjuak in l.a. and this is america's favourite light news, fox news at night. breaking tonight former fbi director james comay back in the headlines and in a bit of hot water tonight after posting and then later retracting a picture

on social me